After having no response from Motorhead at my “Thanks but no thanks” text I ran into him tonight at a shopping centre. A) I was looking average after a looooong day at work but B) did I cop an icy glare.
Maybe I am a heart breaker after all. Or maybe he just icy glares everyone.
Decided I couldn’t go ahead with the Motorhead second date. There were no butterflies or excitement when I get a text from him. There should be something shouldn’t there.
Back to the dating board….
So Motorhead text me last night to meet up next week – why am I not jumping at the chance? Took me 12 hours to respond – and it rarely takes me 12 seconds to respond to a text. Argh!
So before I head too much further into this catastrophic misadventure I should probably write down my “wish list” of what I’m looking for in a man. Call me picky (“you’re picky!”) but there is no use pretending we don’t all have wish lists.
Age: 28 to 35
Marital status: Single – prefer never married.
Kids: None now – not desperate for them either.
Height – 6’0″ or above preferably. That’s not to say I won’t consider anyone shorter but I’d like not to be the tall one in the relationship at 5’5. A girl needs to be able to wear heels damnit!
Occupation: as long as it’s something he loves I don’t mind.
Dislikes: bad spellers (I’m sorry but if you can’t spell on your profile that is a deal breaker right there – use spell check if you have to!), anyone obsessed with $$ and power, people who don’t take pride in their appearance.
A Car and a license too! And preferably not living with his parents!
And if you’ve dated/slept with any of my friends – that’s a no. I’m not good at sharing.
I’m sure I will have more to add to the list – but for now that is it! Am I asking too much?
My second date this week was less of a date and more of a “giving in”. The Eager Friend has been harassing me to go out for nearly a year. And tonight my resolve was destroyed. I was hungry ok – and he was offering dinner! Where to start with the problems with the Eager Friend? He’s previously been involved with a friend of mine. Not a close friend but I know he broke her heart – and I’m never prepared to add to a friend’s pain. He has a kid – also something I’m not prepared to take on – probably another nail in my dating success coffin I know – but it’s my thing. I like him – I do – but I’m just not attracted to him. We had a great time at dinner – but for me it was just dinner with a friend. And I think I made that pretty clear. We’ll just have to see. I’m sure he’ll be asking me out again soon….. Now if I can just find someone I like AND I’m attracted to – who also likes me!
Motorhead (not his real name or his dating profile username) was to be my first victim of my new era of Internet dating. As per my current process I don’t send Contact Requests – I’ve just been sitting back and seeing what comes my way. And probably 2 months back this one came my way. Why has it taken so long to meet him? My busy life, his busy life, my need to wrap things up with The Claytons BF. So here’s the low down
Age:32
Height: 6’0″
Star Sign: Sagittarius
Kids: no
Want Kids: Undecided
All signs are pointing to a positive encounter. Our chats/texts have been reasonably interesting – he remembers things I’ve told him which is always a plus and when suggesting a location for our first date – he suggested something close to where I live – also a plus! To say I was nervous was an understatement – I arrived early to have a relaxing glass of sauv blanc and just chill. Was there spark? No. Did the conversation flow? Yes. Was he nice? Yes. Did he actually look like his profile pic? Amazingly yes
Issues: he LOVES cars and I am so not a car person at all. I’d mentioned a friend had just bought a new car and we spent 15 mins talking about a car I have so little knowledge of. He questioned my decision to keep renting rather than buy a house (on the first date???) And when I talked about the concerts I’m going to in the next 6 months he picked up on the most commercial of the lot and said “I’ll give you that”. Gee thanks for your generosity.
I’m not writing him off just yet. I’ve said yes to a second date (time and place to be determined) but is it worth it without a spark? Am I expecting too much in wanting a spark? Argh!
Argh! Evil has a name and it’s called Internet Dating. I’ve seen the “successes” – friends who have found love and are now happily married/child-bearing/loved up. I’ve also heard the tales of woe, the tears of rejection and read the abysmal profiles. It’s not something I can rule out all together though – it’s becoming the norm. And if that is where all the good men are hiding – I need to check it out.
I’ve toyed with Internet Dating once before – almost 18 months ago. That spawned 2 major incidents – The Texter and The Clayton’s BF. Let’s start with the former…
The Texter is HOT. Very much the type of guy I would pass in the street and be distracted by. A bad boy with tatts and a blue collar job. We share the same interests in music and movies etc. The Texter and I have NEVER met. We started sending messages in August of last year. He dropped off the planet in around September – which I didn’t mind because by then I had already been distracted by the Clayton’s BF. Then when the Clayton’s BF and I were in one of our “down times” he turned up again – a random text from an unknown number (of course I deleted his number!) and he’s been back in my life ever since. We go from texting daily to texting once a fortnight back to texting daily. We’ve talked about meeting but right now I’m in a place where I’m happy with just the texting. My friends disapprove – mainly because some of his texts border on the lewd side (and yes I’ve been sent sexts) but he can also be quite caring and thoughtful.
Then there’s the Clayton’s BF (the boyfriend you have when you don’t have a bf). He was my trial date. I agreed to go out with him so I could practice first dates. It had been a long time since I’d been on a first date – and we seemed to click when chatting. So we met – and we clicked in real life. First date – Sunday, Second date – Monday, Third date – Tuesday. Did I mention he is my parent’s dream of a son-in-law prospect? Clean cut, good job, same political persuasion. Things were going really really well – until the start of the dreaded sporting season. This guy was crazy for his sport – trainings, games, board meetings – which left little time for moi! I called it off after a few months citing “I dont have to be your first priority but I’d like to be a priority”. And that should have been it. But a few months later – we saw each other again. And since then we’ve been “seeing each other” casually for a while. Now I understand the FWB thing – that makes sense to me but he took things beyond that. Nights in nice hotels, cooking me dinners, suggesting weekends away, wanting to meet a good friend I talked about. Which made me wonder – did he want more? I swore I’d bring it up time and time again – see whether we did want to pursue something more. Time and time I chickened out – I didn’t want to pull it on him before he left for a 2 month European adventure, I didn’t want to throw it at him just after he returned, it wasn’t fair to do that to him when he’d just lost his job…. but you will be proud to know I finally brought it up. A few weeks back I bravely announced that “I can’t keep seeing you because I like you too much” and that my friends was the end of that!
So as much as my 2 internet dating “interactions” have been a little odd – I figure I should give it another go. It could prove amusing.
So there are plenty more fish in the sea right? Well what if you are stuck in a desert…. alone?
Ok so it seems like I’m heading into this whole thing with a negative outlook. Really, truly I’m not. I am heading into it completely petrified at the prospect of meeting new people but it has to be done! Or I need to find an allergy medication that doesn’t make me into a walking zombie so I can start on my collection of cats.
I’m in my early 30s and I haven’t had a serious relationship in almost 4 years after ending a 6 year relationship. And I have LOVED gettting to know me again, getting my career back on track and just generally enjoying life. Now seems like the right time to get back in the game and look for love. Or at least some laughs along the way. And try to rope my friends in to the process.
My goal: to explore every avenue – and not to turn down offers from anyone I think might be even close to what I’m after. Am I dropping my standards? Am I prepared to settle – HELL TO THE NO! I’m just getting back out there. One day at a time. One date at a time.
